Thursday, January 07, 2010

The Tale Of The Old Men And The Horse

In a sleepy village somewhere in India, there lived five venerable old men. This little village consisted of nothing more than a few houses built near a train stop, and there was no need for any vehicles.

These five men were not blind at birth, but the long years have slowly eroded their sight, leaving them with only memories of their past. But the five old men did not mind, and cherished each other's company as people with similar ailings would find consolation in one another. It became their daily ritual to walk around the village and sit on a rough stone bench near a stream and the railway where they will listen to the sounds that whisper past.

They would play guessing games, when it came to sounds and smells that were new to them, and kept scores among each other when one guessed correctly.

Everyone in the village knew these five men, and their routine of walking around the village and sitting on the bench before heading home. Everyone would greet these five men if they happen to meet the five men on their way, and would step aside to let the men pass first. In their little village nothing much changes, and if there were, no one would disturb the path the five men took.

Only once, a boy named Apu decided to be cheeky and stood quietly in the path of the five old men, wondering what would happen. The story of how one of the five men, without breaking his leisurely stride, confidently swung his walking stick and struck Apu on the side of his head was still told around the village by mothers to teach their children manners.

"Oh, did you hear? Apu has returned to the village."

"He should now be a young man. Didn't he go to the city to work? Why is he back here?"

"He is now making moves, I think."


"I think you mean movies. I heard it is a kind of moving pictures with sound."

"Really? He's become a painter then? And he has come back here to paint?"

"Then who are all the people that has come with him? And a lot of noise, too, they make!"

"And they brought animals!"

"Animals? Here? What kind of picture is Apu painting? Our village with animals?"

And the five men laughed. The way they talked, it was like a man with five heads. No names were needed, the chatter was constantly flowing without pause.

"My amah heard him say that he was doing a prawn movie."

"Prawn movie? What is a prawn?"

"I do not know. But this prawn movie involves a lot of people it seems."

"Yes. This city people, I can hear them from across the village, they are so loud."

"Yes! And they have very weird uninhibited ways," -Here the old man's voice goes down to a whisper- "Do you know, last night one couple were down by the stream, the man shouts, 'Action!' and then the woman starts singing as if her maidenhead was being taken!"

"Aiyoyo! What a very obedient wife to entertain her husband with such kind of singing! But by the stream?"

At this point the five old men sensed that their path was blocked. It so happens that the filming crew had brought along a horse and dogs, and this horse had somehow escaped and is now standing in front of the five men. One old man slowly walks forward.

"I think it is an animal that Apu's friends have brought along with him. Shall we guess what it is?"

He reaches out and touches the horse's leg.

"It feels like a small tree trunk."

Another walks and touches the horse's stomach.

"No, it does not feel like a tree. It feels like a water pouch."

A third grasped the tail.

"It is a creature that brushes things!"

The fourth groped.

"Aiyoyo! It is a naked giant we are touching! His lingam is at the level of my face!"

At this point the horse, nervous at all the attention, reared up, neighed, trampled the four men and charged for the fifth. The fifth man spun and ran at the noise and the frightened cries of his friends being crushed and ran smack into a wall. And then was pinned by the horse trained for a beastiality porn movie.


Moral of the story? Who said that there was a moral to the story?


Gratitude said...

Hahahaha Darn it! I wuz really expecting a moral lesson at the end. :P

Janvier said...

Gratitude: Well one moral of this story would be, 'Don't simply touch-touch.' :P

Little Dove said...

Did the horse got nervous or aroused? ;p

William said...

It's obviously time for your medication.

savante said...

Did you miss your last Psych eval? :)

Ted said...

Hahahah! Badddd horsseeyyy...

Alex said...

What a post....

Jaded Jeremy said...

What the...

Ban said...

... haiyo...

Janvier said...

Little Dove: We would like to think that the horse thought that he was required on the set at that point. :P

William: Would you believe we were on medication while writing that?

Savante: You gonna give us one? ;)

Ted: Naughty, naughty horsey!

Alex: More to come!

Jaded Jeremy: What the what?

Ban: Haiyo apa?