Looking For Light?

We've been listening to the BTMV hymnal and the P&W songs back recently, probably brought on by fact that we haven't listened to them in quite a while as well as BWei's sudden invitation to her church when we paid her a visit.

We'll admit, it's been a long while since we've last been to church - and we've no feelings of guilt. Loss, maybe. But we're not too sure what is it we may have lost. As it is, we feel like a complete stranger when in church - whether it be because we don't have the conviction anymore, or because we've lost contact with most of the church folks that we were never too close to begin with, even our peer group.

Honestly, the few times we ever end up in church (because we've to fetch mum there) we try to avoid the rest of the congregation after service - by hiding in some corner while everyone else mingle in fellowship over tea, coffee and biscuits. We gets mighty uncomfortable with any peers we meet in church that we would be quite comfortable with if we'd known them outside church. And we're not talking zealous attitudes or such, it's your regular Joe really.

Antisocialism? Sociophobia? Self-outcasting? Or is our faith faltering then?

All we like sheep, have gone astray indeed. We have definitely strayed off the path a long time ago, even when we were still in church then. And we don't think we are able to go back to church yet, not till we've come to terms with ourselves. If we were to go back, we need a good reaffirmation of the faith - something we probably never had in the first place.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Till we see God in everything.