While others drink to forget or take a break from reality, it seems that I drink to get in touch with it. Not like I don't already know where I stand in the scheme of things (at least, at the moment, to inject some note of positiveness). But in my normal state I'm not really *fully* in touch with reality as I tend to live in my castle up in the clouds.
So.
Bloody hell. Just, bloody hell.
It's one thing when you're being stupid, but another when you're aware and you don't take any action about it. And I'm aware of it, and well, I don't think I'm taking any action about it.
Bloody, bloody hell.
Doesn't help that I feel that I'm dealing with someone out of my league here.
Bloody, bloody hell.
Asides from that, knowing that I've some sort of responsibility to my charges, and failing them at the last moment, it's a shitty thing. I'm sorry I didn't do better. Imagine what would have happen otherwise if things got out of hand. I'm sorry I failed big time.
Bloody, bloody, bloody hell.
So Janvier, wake up, and stop deluding yourself. Go die alone.
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